I can't help but feel a bug. The madcap circling of every momentous life event tearing me round and round like water around the mouth of the drain, poised to spit me into my new head space. I'm always so slow, it takes me days to register, "Jimi, you're pretty scared."
"Yeah. its the lack of sleep."
"Yeah, I haven't been in my bible a lot lately."
Yeah, I'm about to make one of the biggest decisions of my life."
*Pause*
Oh. I think I have an answer that fits the symptoms.
The list goes on and on,
1. End of school year crunch
2. Gotta find a new job
3. My friend's bout w/ heart break
4. The slow realization that this may be who I am.
*Shudder*
Its not all that bad. I just have a love of the melodrama, and the quickest way to ruin melodrama is perspective. So there, now this blog is ruined. How can I go off on some tirade on how miserable and adrift I am when I'm not that miserable or adrift. It was going to be a light hearted ditty about confusion and darkness, but no you had to go and ruin it with reason and logic.
*sigh*
I can't seem to find anything to say without sounding pretentious. Do I sound pretentious to you? Is this your idea of entertainment? Are these the things you wanted to know about my week? School is too dull to write about, unless modifying pigment stains is your thing. In which case call me up, I can regale you with stories of 1 lb. cut shellac and how I used A/B bleach to show that dark walnut who's boss. My spiritual life is too weird and quite frankly disconcerting. My social is Jasmine and the random trip to Wal-Mart, which I have been advised by my attorney to not acknowledge actually ever happened. I can't wait to see most of your shining faces, so we can talk mad trash about the ones I won't be seeing, and I'm excited to see what's going to happen. Its a page turner and I'm lucky enough its also my life.
A way for my family to reassure itself that I haven't lost my mind yet. I emphasize the yet.
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2 comments:
Lovely.
i didn't read this
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