Whatsamatta U

I'm in my first week of Vo-Tech School. That stands for Vocational and Technical for those of you who didn't know. Trade Schools are kind of infamous for their "bottom of the barrel" student body and I have the perfect example. I am not making this up. These words actually had the opportunity to be expelled from a student's mouth. The question was, "What is a plethora?" The reply? "Oh, isn't that those fake leather pants you buy at the mall?" Three days in and I feel smarter already.

Never Too Old For Cartoons

For some reason I haven't been able to outgrow cartoons. I mean yes some of them have lost their pizzazz and you won't catch me watching Blue's Clues or Arthur. No offenses to those who enjoy the aformentioned programs. But I love Spongebob and Foster's Home for Imagianary Friends. I also love the animated movies of Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli. But the real reason I'm writing this is to highlight the fact that you can watch some of my favorite cartoons on these sites. First off is http://toonamijetstream.com. I go their to watch Naruto. Naruto was a popular Manga in Japan and is now an equally successful cartoon. The main character is an orpan ninja in training and the website has the first five or six episodes. But be quick they will only be up for about a month longer. The nice thing though is they post a new episode every week or so. The second site is http://turbonick.com. This site has tons of winners. they have newbies like Spongebob and Avatar, but the best part is they have classics like Ren and Stimpy, Rocco's Modern Life, and Invader Zim. I love it! So if you got some time to kill and a broad band connection, I strongly reccommend getting your kid on and watching some old school toons. The best part there is little to no commercials, so sweet.

As Diverse as a Box of No. 2 Pencils

This one is more of a thinker, more of that big picture stuff I seem to get stuck in. I'm just got finished with diversity training. So I feel I'm adequately educated to comment on the subject. We were taught all about acceptance of differences. This is diversity. But strangely enough, all of us, being diverse and accepting, are actually not. If I dislike homosexuals or their lifestyle, I'm seen as unacceptable. But why isn't a homosexual seen as unacceptable for not accepting my view? I'm not trying to argue right or wrong. I am strictly talking about acceptance. If I'm supposed to be accepting of women in the workplace, why aren't they expected to except males who prefer women in the home? You could try to carry that over to different skin colors. But if you do, could you be more specific? How dark does my skin have to be before I'm no longer white? If you hate Native Americans because of their skin color, you should probably also hate most high school cheerleaders. They tan so much its the same color. So maybe you hate their culture. This I can understand a little better, but get it straight. Skin color is such a poor indicator of what someone is like. You might as well hate all people who wear baseball caps, at least they had a choice in it. Even here, the diversity proponents perpetuate the cycle by acting as if their is such a thing as ethnicity based on skin color. Ethnicity is based on upbringing. If I was raised in a Asian family, but I'm dark-skinned or round eyed, I'm still Asian. We need a massive rethinking of skin color. It needs to be treated as it actually is, something independent of all other attributes. But that is just a tangent, back to the subject at hand. Diversity in my school, means everybody thinks the same way. We all accept everything and everybody as long as they do the same. As soon as someone has concrete beliefs that disagree with your own, they are intolerant. We all sit in class, and say we need to celebrate diversity. We do this by having no distinguishing differences, and sitting around applauding each other on our ability to accept diverse peoples. I end by saying only the truly diverse and acceptant will even be able to give this a read, without thinking of me as a bigot and hate monger, and in this I rest my point. I actually teach acceptance of all people, though non-acceptance towards specific behavior. The world system wants extremists in all regards. I preach moderation and middle ground. The true balance of a loving and violent God.

The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread....

I found myself traveling across this great land recently. This creates the opportunity to participate in one of my favorite activities, truck stop diners. This of course runs the risk of the crabby waitress. Up until just recently, I found myself often at the whims and fancies of a chain smoking, post-menopausal, retired Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. They would give you that look, expressing their desire to be caressing that cigarette, left still smoking in the break room, and remembering the glory days when Bobby Quarterback use to shell the big bucks just to shake her pom-poms. Instead she in some dirt dive waiting on geriatrics spending their pension checks on senior discount coffee and French onion soup. But my brother and I think we have found a solution. We all know that every waitress is dependent on tips. I mean come on $3 an hour isn't going to get you very far in life. She already smokin' that money up, just to deal with the AARP fan club. So we have created an incentive. When we first find ourselves seated at the booth, we place a "tip counter" on the table in plain sight. The tip counter is a small device with a number amount printed on it, much the same way that an odometer would. The words "YOUR TIP" are printed huge right above it. There are two buttons on the top of the device, one reduces the amount and the other increases it. So the waitress rolls her eyes, I hit the button, you just lost ten cents lady. She doesn't fill my cup with everybody else, that's 20 more cents. I think this helps them visualize in a more tangible way how their behavior is affecting their pay scale. After just a few minutes all you have to do is hover your hand over the tip counter and, you can see an almost magical transformation. It has greatly improved my restaurant experience. If this sounds like something that you need, just drop me a line and we'll send you one for the paltry cost of $10. You easily pay that off in the benefit of improved restaurant service, I know I have.

Too Much Thinking Leads to Too Much Action

I made it. I just finished the last week of Summer School. Anyone who has finished a semester of college has a feeling of the relief I feel. I'm blaming that black cloud of projects and papers for my recent blog inactivity. I'm also blaming anything having to do with chewing gum. I was one step from inadvertent calamity, right at that precipice of disaster, I realized I couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time. I quickly swallowed the antagonistic wad of cud, and tragedy was avoided. I swear I live with way to much excitement. I was riding the Lancaster Metro, this is a small and inconspicuous form of transport in this burgeoning Amish utopia. Even here, I was quickly drawn into a conspiracy for national takeover. Thanks to my photographic memory, I remember it word and am going to transcribe it for you below. It was between two Hispanic gentlemen, they were speaking in Spanish, and thought I didn't understand.
Afortunado para mi­ hablo espanol!
For the sake of clarity, I will refer to them by the name of Pedro and Jose, though I don't know their actual names, also I will right the conversation in English so you can understand.

Jose: Long live the revolution.
Pedro: Yes, long live the revolution and the Holy Mother.
Jose: We are so close to taking over this pathetic country.
Pedro: I know they are so focused on the middle east, that they don't notice as we get our operatives hired in their homes, in their orchards, and mowing every yard across this feeble country.
Jose: Soon we shall takeover all their jobs and force them to be our mindless slaves. I have already been offered the overseer's position in Missouri, but they have offered that to almost everybody. I'm holding out for something a little more glamorous.
Pedro: I already took a position as a slave driver. I'm going to help rebuild the Aztec pyramids in place of the Washington Monument. I can't put my finger on it, I love the feel of a leather whip between my fingers.
Jose: I understand your sentiments. (looking at me) Look at that stupid white boy, completely oblivious to all that is about to take place. Doesn't he look fat and ugly?
(they both laugh)
Pedro: He certainly is more ugly than most. How foolish these arrogant Americansns are, not taking time to learn our language.
Jose: Yes, they can't speak our language so they have done us the favor of already translating everything over to spanish for us.
This will save us a lot of time in the rebuilding. But alas, this is my stop, for the motherland, brother.
Pedro: Yes, long live the revolution, goodbye

Now Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

Something has got to give. The whole course of my day is run by a clock. This use to irk me to no end, but I got over it. So be to class by 8am, go to lunch between noon and 1pm. I can do that, it provides routine, and as humans we all like our routine. Don't believe me?
"Dear can you talk out the trash?"
What do you get? A sigh, an eye roll, "I guess."
Why such the ordeal? Someone's routine was just interrupted. But the thing I can't seem to come to grips with is TV programming. Almost all of our time obligations land on the whole hour, like I pointed out earlier class, work, doctors' appointments, etc. There is the off chance its an 9:30 or something else, but rare. Anyhow, the transportation from point a to b usually takes around 15 minutes at the very least. So their we have our departure time always at some "quarter till" or "quarter after" ("quarter of" for you PA Dutch). Even if its just a short drive you always try to leave a little earlier. But this causes a problem with my television viewing. I always miss at least half my show. So I have come up with a simple solution. My solution is that network TV moves their shows back fifteen minutes. I really think this would solve a lot of problems. I wouldn't be so crabby when I get to where I am going, because I'd know who stole Ariel and Beau's baby. That's all I want, to know what happened. Is that so much? Is it CBS, ABC, FOX, anyone?

Dark Prophecy of the Future (you have to say it in a creepy voice)

Disclaimer: I apologize beforehand this is not funny, but it is interesting.
In the future, images will seamlessly jump from one media to the next. I saw this in a commercial. It wasn't literal in the commercial, but in the future it will be. Remember the gameboy w/ game cube connection? Now replace the connection wirelessly and fluidly and you get the idea. But that is small stuff, because the media itself is still limited by the screen. The leap media needs to make is to dispose of the screen. So that instead a TV program being a moving picture. A TV program is an actual program, it downloads and adapts to the environment. Dora the explorer and I go on a treasure hunt around my house. I look in a pair of shoes and there is the clue. I touch it and it jumps into the air, unfolding and singing its song. At the half hour slot, its over. The images are carried on my person. They are projected by my clothing or my cell phone. The box that the signal is sent from, the TV is completely aware of the house and all its objects, in much the same sonar or radar is accomplished, so it can customize the episode to fit inside my home. The episode looks for a few parameters. A six inch clearance from the floor to hide the clue. A surface table-esque in nature to set up a puzzle. The parameters can be compromised, the clearance might be a doorway or the table actually the floor if the required objects can't be found. Does this sound to outrageous? Trying telling that to the Orville Brothers.

Where My Fries At?

My dignity is slowly being destroyed by fast food chains. I'll explain. I enjoy alot of the food produced by fast food restaurants, and not only is the food going to send me to an early grave, it is becoming harder and harder to order the items on the menu. What makes them think I want to ask for a Caramel Kazaam Cheesequake? It might actually taste very good, but I'll never know because those words are never coming out of my mouth in mixed company. Maybe this is to boost the morale of the employees. I know they have the short end of the stick almost every minute of every shift they work. They are under paid and under appreciated. So to make up for this, they get to see us make fools out of ourselves just trying to get a burger.
"Um yes, I would like the uh.. the um.. Extreme Sock Blastin' Southwestern Sahara Thickburger w/ ahh, the umm... please don't make me say this, Chocomonster Mudslide Moolatte. The other tactic is to embarrass the customers with word we don't know or in another language. Does anybody remember Chipotle? They even rubbed it in more with a commercial explaining how to pronounce it. So to counteract this embarrassment, I've now taken to finding the most normal item on the menu and then explaining the offending items position relative to it. That's right, they aren't getting their kicks outta me. "I want the third item down from the nine piece McNuggets, yeah the one right next to the Big'n'Tasty."

The Depths of a Woman's Purse

I discovered a remnant of the Old Magic still alive and thriving in our so called technologically advanced day and age. Its been here for a long time but like most people I haven't noticed it till just a few days ago.
I was sitting at a friends when an innocent question arose from my friend Raina, "Can you get something from my purse?"
immediately the hair on the back of my neck began to stand to attention. Rick tried to evade the question, "I don't go through a woman's purse."
Some masculine instinct fears the purse, a small piece of us knows, we are playing with a power that is not ours to control. We are stepping into a realm where we are powerless. The dreaded reply, "Oh, its just right on top."
The only reason that the item is always on top for a woman is because through some power unbeknownst to me, they can draw the required item out of the abyss with startling immediacy. But for the poor male, all the digging in the world will not cause the item to reveal itself. This is a magic foreign to us.
Just as startling and disconcerting is that the moment after we bow in defeat and offer the purse so she might retrieve the item, does it veritably leap out of the purse into her hand.
doesn't it also seem strange that a woman will always have whatever is required for the situation at hand, be it Band-Aids or Kleenex, soldering iron, or hacksaw. An inexplicable amount of bric-a-brac habitats and seems to multiply in a space that defies it actual space in reality.
All these observations have led me to reconsider what I understand and perhaps gained a new found respect for the powers of a woman.

Sharing Musical Interests

My next door dormmates are huge. They were raised on a whole milk and steak. They also seem to have no personality until 10 o'clock at night. I say this because I never hear a peep out of the room next door until the aforementioned time, then for the next five hours, it sounds like a party in full swing. On Wednesday night, they were bumping Eminem at deafening levels. I was of course attempting to get the recommended seven to eight hours of sleep. I say attempting because it isn't possible while listening to Eminem smacking hoes and disrespecting his grandma. I decided that nonviolent confrontation was all this situation needed. It was after 11:30pm. I went to there door and knocked, a bit apprehensive, b/c remember, they're big. No one was there! Arghhh!
Dear Abby, What the heck are these people thinking?
So now I'm tired, which is fine I know how to stay awake in class, but my mind keeps wandering off. I think I need to eat more green olives.
But don't pity me to much, because today I got Luciano Pavarotti performing "La Boheme" and around 4am tomorrow morning, I think I'm going to introduce them.

Caution: Read at Your Own Peril

Somebody put something into my chocolate frosted yellow cake. It isn't a first time. Fortunately this time I noticed it quick enough to counter it with the only remedy I know, Vanilla Ice Cream. I beginning to believe somebody doesn't want this blog to be written. First it was the Anti-Brain Matter Waves, but I quickly learned you could filter those out by eating green olives to counteract it and wearing a household strainer on my head. I think it has something to do with the more political nature of my musings. I know I must being making a very few high end officials a little nervous when I expose the whole Easter bunny cover up. Yeah I know why you allowed the Easter bunny to become Easter's most beloved icon. I've heard all about the dropping interest in eggs and dyes. Oh yes, and I will not be terrorized into telling the truth. So there I said it and I hope they like it, Mr. House of Representatives, Mr. Speaker of the House, Mr. Democratic Minority Leader, there. If I should disappear for a long time, I will my CD's to my little brothers and everything else to Pierre the French circus clown.
Pierre you made me laugh like I never knew I could laugh before and have never laughed since. The time we spent together was funny and I'll never forget it. If you have any glue, mine is old and coming undone, I don't know how much longer I can keep it together. For the rest of you fighting the good fight of truth and honesty in groceries. I'm back to the front

My Life As I Think It

Have you ever had something really smart to say, but when you went to say it all of a sudden you got nothing. I haven't, if I got something to say it usually comes across at least grade school level. But for me, the trouble is finding something to say. I could say, "I went to school to day, ran into Bob Dylan. I couldn't understand a thing he said." But come on that's boring. Inversely, not that this is so much better. I guess I need more interesting things to start happening to me. So I'm trying to say in a subtle sort of way.
When you all gonna send some ninja assassins after me?
Come on, what's a guy gotta do to get himself set up to get knocked down? That is what I call excitement. You come home late at night, walk into your dorm room, and somersault into a defensive roll narrowly missing the blade humming by your head. You jump up and roundhouse kick the guy putting him in a choke hold, "Who do you work for? Who sent you?" But before you can squeeze an answer out, he bites down on a fake tooth and the cyanide inside kills him instantaneously.
I mean come on that's worth blogging about.
Me: What did you do last night?
Normal Bore: Oh, I was playing World of Warcraft, my level thirty ogre found this new...
Me:(interrupting) Silence yourself and your inane babble, your existence is futile and drab, I successfully fought off a ninja assassination attempt, you life next to that is banal.

This way I could keep the excitement going because that same normal bore actually turned out to be a twisted mad geneticist and he made some giant lobster-scorpion hybrid and hid it in my bathroom. I love my life.

Got to Write Something

Its the 3rd of July, Yeah! Second week of school and I still got my head above water. Yes! I've always been a strong starter. Its the finishing part I've always struggled with. How about you? Does anyone know a better way to broaden my audience w/o actually having to make new friends? I suppose I could talk about more relevant and sophisticated subject matter. But come on, aren't we all just a little tired of all that heady nonsense.
"...But there's a call to love my brother
That can never be destroyed however much you talk,
However well you talk you make a certain sense
It's still only stupid talk..." -mewithoutyou "leaf"
I'm on this kick of quoting bands, I'm becoming my mom. She will start humming a song for just about anything you tell her. Its actually kinda fun, you should try it. If you can't do it, you need to listen to more music. Its the only solution. I going to go to California this august, so if you need anything just let me know, so I can pick it up for you. Other then that. I'm serious you need to listen to more music, so get to it... Oh yeah and check out this game. Its called Flow. It can be found at
jenovachen.com
If you get bored, which won't be for a minute, maybe read his thesis or check out his other games.

electromuse

today fun with weird electronic music
www.electrocraft.com
check out these instruments.
You can see one in use if you watch the Plan B(live) video by Mute Math.
Too cool.
http://www.moogmusic.com/
Ok now drool over some old skool vintage analog synths.
The little Phatty almost affordable. Yeah right.
http://hellven.org/
Now this one has a alot of back story with something called the demoscene. It also has free music. A little known fact is tha Hunz, one of the colabs was lead singer for the christian rock band, beanbag.
Last of all get to know this guy, Thomas Jenkinson.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squarepusher
especially read the philosophy part, this guy has some out there ideas.
and then check him out live here:
http://forum.watmm.com/index.php?showtopic=6881
so thanks for coming along on my little tour, that about wraps it up, until next time.

i meant to write this

purevolume.com/portugal.theman

So this is my first blog from TSCT. That stands for Thaddeus Stevens College of Technology, you can probably understand why I abbreviate.
a
Check out this band, especially you Patric.
I'm in Comp 106, writing about writing. Does that seem to be a bit of a redundancy for you? Wait..I have to pay attention for a bit... nope, false alarm. The way too much like high school, except the work is harder, which I don't know how I feel about right now, I am glad to being work again, but they didn't give a math class. That is not cool, because I love math. English is cool but whenever its graded I get all weird about it. I journal but that is so much less intimidating. But I have confidence in my writing ability these days so, I'm going to handle that, son.

Out of Habit, Stronger Than Ambition

Their is less than three weeks, in which, the conclusion of the last twenty-two months of my life will be reached. Yes it is true, I am finally leaving the umbrella from the storm of life I call, Teen Challenge. I will be entering the small circle of another umbrella called Thaddeus Stevens College of Technology. To say apprehensive would be redundant. No parents, no friends, no one but my God and and my dreams, which by the way keep me up at night. Did I mention that? It seems satisfaction and success are a thing of the past. A thing for old people, motivational speakers and valedictorian. They don't exist in the real world, especially among christians, at least not in my generation. We all are miserable failures, or beautiful failures. We are being robbed. I'm so uncertain I can do anything to change it, it being myself. I want to make a difference, but everyone I care about, everyone I relate to is trapped in sin and running from God. Why? More importantly..."Why not me?" Am I just waiting? Is the only reason I'm still standing b/c I'm still in Teen Challenge. I refuse to be come institutionalized. I would rather be dead. I mean that. Does this sound like fear? Do you like questions?

no one listens to me, so please listen to this...

www.myspace.com/saxonshore

A Laugh (or something like it)

This week has been full of all sorts of new and interesting experiences...
and quite frankly I like it. Their was a ride in a scissor lift to 30+ feet only to be topped by a 50+ foot ride in a cherry picker the very next day. I must suggest,if the oppurtunity presents itself, do not pass this up. Then agin yesterday, the new and mysterious presented itself in the form of my first catch of a bass. It wasn't huge, but it was big. So top that, you can't because its my experience and not yours. Sorry, I didn't mean that last bit. Please don't stop reading, I need readers.

A Man and His Tools

Hello Faithful Reader,
You should all be happy to see it has been a scant three days in passing. This is marked improvement. Today in the mail, a letter arrived from my future alma mater. It had a list of tools to procure before the beginning of the semester. This made me very happy. Every man loves tools, stereotypically. Don't limit the word tool to a hammer or chainsaw. But for a moment ponder on the joy of a new paintbrush or computer software, or even a guitar or keyboard. The possibilities lay out before our vision, seemingly endless. Oh bliss, your name is potential. In other news, I'm in process of trying to procure some form of musical instrument. So please keep the peepers peeled for a deal in just about anything w/ strings.