Where My Fries At?

My dignity is slowly being destroyed by fast food chains. I'll explain. I enjoy alot of the food produced by fast food restaurants, and not only is the food going to send me to an early grave, it is becoming harder and harder to order the items on the menu. What makes them think I want to ask for a Caramel Kazaam Cheesequake? It might actually taste very good, but I'll never know because those words are never coming out of my mouth in mixed company. Maybe this is to boost the morale of the employees. I know they have the short end of the stick almost every minute of every shift they work. They are under paid and under appreciated. So to make up for this, they get to see us make fools out of ourselves just trying to get a burger.
"Um yes, I would like the uh.. the um.. Extreme Sock Blastin' Southwestern Sahara Thickburger w/ ahh, the umm... please don't make me say this, Chocomonster Mudslide Moolatte. The other tactic is to embarrass the customers with word we don't know or in another language. Does anybody remember Chipotle? They even rubbed it in more with a commercial explaining how to pronounce it. So to counteract this embarrassment, I've now taken to finding the most normal item on the menu and then explaining the offending items position relative to it. That's right, they aren't getting their kicks outta me. "I want the third item down from the nine piece McNuggets, yeah the one right next to the Big'n'Tasty."