I'm Sure I've Found Something Better

A way for my family to reassure itself that I haven't lost my mind yet. I emphasize the yet.

Thursday, January 08, 2015

The Clearing

And the time would come, and the girls would flee the clearing, as seemed to be in their nature to do.
The boys who shared the clearing would lift their heads from their activities and watch as the receding figures vanished into the forest.
Then each would set off in pursuit careening towards the still barely visible outlines, headlong into the shadows of the forest.
In this way their love was spoken, that of the pursued, that of the pursuer.
Except for one.
One boy would not join the chase.
He had, once upon a time, had chased his love through the deep shadows, but nature, in its oft arbitrary way had taken the use of his legs.
When he had still had use of his legs, there had been but one girl he had pursued, they had shared the passion of the moment and it was just as real as anything could hope to be.
But with the loss of his legs, lost also was their love, and though she had felt sadness, she soon was pursued by another.
He would watch her leave.
His gaze following her into the distance until she was but a vapor on the periphery of his vision.
His eyes became unfocused and slid across the clearing to the opposite where they were stopped and held by the
gaze of two startling azure eyes.
A single girl stood at the edge of the forest, still, not breaking eye contact.
She was stunning.
What a injustice, she was not running amongst the trees, being chased, being pursued by the hearts of wild boys.
She beckoned to him.
The boy almost looked around, though he knew he was alone.
Me?
She's motioning to me?
Doesn't she know? Is this some cruel joke?
But the look on her face was kindness and warmth, it was affection.
Desire rose in his chest, tossing his heart in his throat, like a boat on a cresting wave.
He threw himself from his seat,  pitching forward, ungracefully to the ground.
He pulled his body, legs as dead weights, fingers digging for hold in soft ground, he inched, handful by handful
towards the motionless girl.
His frail arms quickly began to shake with each effort, his lungs expelling hot pain with each exhale, but the distance closed.
The dirt caked his fingernails as he dug for each hold, mud and grass streaking his arms and elbows.
He was too spent to even lift his gaze, in a final titanic effort he came to rest at her feet.
Quickly she knelt beside him.
She gently took his head into her lap and brushed aside the hair matted across his face.
He heaved deep breaths as he stared wordlessly up into her open gaze.
"…Why?" he gasped.

"I could had been chased by one of the others," She whispered to him, "but I was pursued hardest by you."

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Touch

He would always sit next to somebody on the bus,
didn't matter if whole rows were empty,
the bus seats were small,
small enough that no matter what,
he could sit close enough to touch.

Psychology had taught him that the human animal needed physical touch,
this was the only place he could get it.

In the summertime they ran the A/C,
and he could feel the body heat as it passed through their fabrics,
it felt like love to him,
like belonging.

He never leaned in,
he had no ill intent,
he always just sighed a little when they got up to leave.

He thought maybe he should thank them,
but he didn't think they would understand,
so he'd smile and try to meet their eye and nod and then look bashful to the floor.

Thank you,
thank you for being a mother's hug,
for being a small child asleep in his arms,
thank you for being a warm kiss,
a held hand,
thank you for being a slapped back,
a firm handshake,
a slight touch,

Thank you for being love.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

In Regards to Packaging

You know they have gone too far when they individually wrap eggs.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Worthless Drivel (Do Not Read)

I can't help but feel a bug. The madcap circling of every momentous life event tearing me round and round like water around the mouth of the drain, poised to spit me into my new head space. I'm always so slow, it takes me days to register, "Jimi, you're pretty scared."
"Yeah. its the lack of sleep."
"Yeah, I haven't been in my bible a lot lately."
Yeah, I'm about to make one of the biggest decisions of my life."
*Pause*
Oh. I think I have an answer that fits the symptoms.
The list goes on and on,
1. End of school year crunch
2. Gotta find a new job
3. My friend's bout w/ heart break
4. The slow realization that this may be who I am.
*Shudder*
Its not all that bad. I just have a love of the melodrama, and the quickest way to ruin melodrama is perspective. So there, now this blog is ruined. How can I go off on some tirade on how miserable and adrift I am when I'm not that miserable or adrift. It was going to be a light hearted ditty about confusion and darkness, but no you had to go and ruin it with reason and logic.
*sigh*
I can't seem to find anything to say without sounding pretentious. Do I sound pretentious to you? Is this your idea of entertainment? Are these the things you wanted to know about my week? School is too dull to write about, unless modifying pigment stains is your thing. In which case call me up, I can regale you with stories of 1 lb. cut shellac and how I used A/B bleach to show that dark walnut who's boss. My spiritual life is too weird and quite frankly disconcerting. My social is Jasmine and the random trip to Wal-Mart, which I have been advised by my attorney to not acknowledge actually ever happened. I can't wait to see most of your shining faces, so we can talk mad trash about the ones I won't be seeing, and I'm excited to see what's going to happen. Its a page turner and I'm lucky enough its also my life.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Perplexed in Pennsylvania

How do you reconcile two different ideas? How do married couples do it? I'm torn between feeling like I need to stand up for myself and that I'm just being selfish, always having to have things my way. You probably are asking, "what is he taking about?" Jasmine and I, of course. She would like to get married very soon, like now, and I want to wait till the end of the summer. You can give us all sorts of reasons one way or the other, but that isn't the point. It all boils down to one thing, one of us has to get their way. Do we flip a coin? Do I say, "I'm the man and I have final say?" I want to include Jasmine, my desire is to provide for her and to give her what she wants. Most of you are probably thinking dirty thoughts. Thoughts like Jasmine is trying to manipulate me into a poor decision. She has always desired to get married. My answer to you is, "so what?" You are asking two imperfect people why they aren't in a perfect relationship. I think the answer is pretty obvious. We are beyond the point where we are still asking, "are we meant together?" The budget is there, the locale is there. My only concern is a baby appearing nine months from now, but there are ways to avoid that. I feel torn, between my desire and hers. I had decided in myself, and by myself, to wait until August, but now I see that as very selfish, and once again me trying to avoid responsibility. I know that no one married reads this blog, heck most of you aren't even in a relationship. I'm still asking, if you could put aside the presuppositions for one moment and just look at the facts, what would you do?

Monday, March 26, 2007

See? No Tigers. It Must Be Working.

I haven't met a germ or piece of dirt that could kill me yet. So why are we so afraid of them?

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Short and Sweet

My whole life I've been told I have a slow metabolism, always with the negative connotation. Well today I realized I don't have a slow metabolism, my body is just able to use food more efficiently. Therefore from now on please refer to it as a superior metabolic process. Yeah, that's right, superior. I'm getting way more use out of the food I eat than a skinny person.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

From the Boys Down at Acme




These were done with the Lego's Emily sent me a few months back.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Tat New




This is the new tattoo. The one on the left is me, and the one on the right is Jasmine. We got it on Saturday. We had been plotting this one out for going on three years and it just finally worked out. This is the symbol it was designed from. It is a West African symbol.

Nkyinkyim "twisting"

It stands for:
Endurance, grace under hardship
a symbol of initiative, dynamism and versatility
The motif suggests an ability to adapt to different conditions and circumstances, and a warning that in life you need to play many different roles. Its pretty fitting, don't you think?

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